Tuesday, June 01, 1999

Wednesday, June 02, 1999

Thursday, June 03, 1999

Friday, June 04, 1999

Saturday, June 05, 1999

Sunday, June 06, 1999

Monday, June 07, 1999

Tuesday, June 08, 1999

The Optimist

There is a story of identical twins. One was a hope-filled optimist. "Everything is coming up roses!" he would say. The other twin was a sad and hopeless pessimist. He thought that Murphy, as in Murphy's Law, was an optimist. The worried parents of the boys brought them to the local psychologist.

He suggested to the parents a plan to balance the twins’ personalities. "On their next birthday, put them in separate rooms to open their gifts. Give the pessimist the best toys you can afford, and give the optimist a box of manure." The parents followed these instructions and carefully observed the results.

When they peeked in on the pessimist, they heard him audibly complaining, "I don't like the color of this computer.. . I'll bet this calculator will break . . . I don't like the game . . . I know someone who's got a bigger toy car than this . . ."

Tiptoeing across the corridor, the parents peeked in and saw their little optimist gleefully throwing the manure up in the air. He was giggling. "You can't fool me! Where there's this much manure, there's gotta be a pony!"

By Source Unknown

Wednesday, June 09, 1999

Thursday, June 10, 1999

Friday, June 11, 1999

Saturday, June 12, 1999

THE JOY OF A SON

From the first moment he opens his eyes

He's a tiger in disguise.

The second moment he opens his eyes

He's a love bug, so little in size.

The days go by and soon he's crawling

The months go by and soon he's walking.

The first moment he slams that t-ball

for a roaring homerun,

he's soaring, he's learning, he's stepping in stride

to lessons for life.

From the moment he touches his first diploma

the sweet smell of success embraces his heart

for he knows he was a winner right from the start.

For he was born to be nourished

born to be loved

born to be cherished

born to be hugged

born to be a son

tall and true

Born a blessing

all the days through.

His Mother, His Father

stand firm by his side,

silently, quietly, walking with pride.

And, to the Almighty

they now bow their head,

thanking and praising

for the year..

by year raising,

and year

by year living

THE JOY OF A SON.

-Poem by KAREN A. THOMAS

Sunday, June 13, 1999

Monday, June 14, 1999

Subject: FW: good heavens

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says "I'm not very busy today,why don't you let me show you around?"

The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks.

The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?" St. Peter explains, "Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged."

The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why is that? St. Peter explains, "Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds his clock."

This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he asks, "What's the story with that clock?"

"Oh, that," St. Peter replies, "That's Bill Clinton's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."

Tuesday, June 15, 1999

Wednesday, June 16, 1999

To Have A Son...

When you feel his gentle breath against your cheek, and hear his

tiny sigh of contentment,

When the warmth of his body fills you with a love you never knew

you could possess,

When his cry evokes a fear deep within your heart,

And you can't seem to keep from touching him as he sleeps,

When you can close your eyes and still see every curve of his face,

When he is not near yet you can still recall his own special scent,

When you're empty because he's not in your arms,

When you feel a bursting joy as you gaze into his eyes,

Then you know what it is to have a son.

And there's nothing quite as wondrous, as magical, or as

frightening as the knowledge that you are his mother.

-Poem by Candy Bolin

Thursday, June 17, 1999

Friday, June 18, 1999

Saturday, June 19, 1999

Sunday, June 20, 1999

Monday, June 21, 1999

Tuesday, June 22, 1999

Wednesday, June 23, 1999

Simple Things

To find joy in simple things,

Twinkling lights and violin strings.

Clean sheets on a comfortable bed

A downy pillow under my head.

A sparrow in flight with wings aflutter,

Pearly moisture on a pat of butter,

A rainbow iridescent with multi-hue,

Fresh mown grass sparkling with dew.

A book to read, a child to hold,

A butterfly dipping on wings of gold,

A friend's touch when your heart is low,

A flower to plant, and watch it grow.

These are the pearls of life we need

To stay the grasp of anger and greed,

To lift our hearts, enrich our life

And hold at bay the pain and strife.

A few minutes a day, let simple things in

To stop the world's tumultuous spin.

To let your spirit soar afloat

Above the sway of this rocky boat.

And in the stillness you touch a brother,

And he in turn will touch another.

Until a host of brothers sings,

To music wrought by simple things.

Thursday, June 24, 1999

Friday, June 25, 1999

Saturday, June 26, 1999

Sunday, June 27, 1999

Monday, June 28, 1999

Three Wishes

This guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt-encrusted piece of metal. He worked for an hour or so to remove the salt. Lo and behold it was a very old oil lamp. The guy started to buff it to remove the verdigris when "poof" a genie appeared. This genie, like all genies, was so happy to be freed of the lamp that he granted the guy three wishes. "I wish to be a dollar richer than Bill Gates, " says the guy. The genie wasn't sure who Bill Gates was until the guy told him to check Forbes magazine. When the genie called up Forbes from inside the lamp he learned that Bill Gates was indeed the richest man in the world. "Guy," the genie said, "You will forever be a dollar richer than Bill Gates. What's your second wish." "Genie, I want the most expensive Porsche made: Fire engine red, on board GPS and the finest audio system ever installed in an automobile." "That's easy, Guy," says the genie. He waves his hand and best car anybody had ever seen pops out of the lamp. The genie then asks the guy for his third wish. The guy mulls the problem over and over. A girl--nah, with billions and billions of dollars he certainly had become a chick magnet. World peace, only wackos want that. The guy found a reason not to wish for anything that came to his mind. "Genie," the guy said, "I can't think of anything now. May I save the third wish for later." "Gee, this is most unusual. But you hold the hammer, I can't escape from this lamp until you make a third wish. Call me when you're ready," and woosh the genie disappears into the lamp. The guy carefully picks up the now-ever-so- valuable lamp and places it in the trunk of the fire engine red Porsche. He turns the radio on to balance the sounds and makes all the other adjustments needed to get his great audio system customized to his ears. After that, he pulled off the beach and headed south along the Pacific Coast Highway. Soon he was up to 60, then 70, then 80. The Porsche handled perfectly. The guy was so happy that he began to sing along with the radio. "Oh, I wish I was an Oscar M...."

by Yakow Smirnoff ( A Russian born Comedian)

Tuesday, June 29, 1999

Wednesday, June 30, 1999